Review: Cirque Du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant

So my wife and I decided to catch a movie the other day and since a) I've seen everything good already, b) all the other movies not included in group a suck ass, and c) The Hays theatre cannot possibly, EVER get great movies. Sure they get good films. Zombieland was good. The Informat was pretty good. But now? Shit! Almost all of it. BTW, if you were wondering, this is my mini rant on our theatre and many others NOT getting Boondock Saints II this week. Assholes.

O.K. got that out of the way. So where were we? Oh ya, Cirque Du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant. And that will be the last time I use the full title. What, it's just to long. Anyway this movie offers a refreshing look at vampires from the stupid, Twilight, sparkly, teen angst-ridden, vampire filled craze we're in. And if you like modern vampire fantasy, you really need to go watch this.

So what is this film? Well, if you couldn't tell from the title, it's a movie about vampires. And some of the vampires actually sucked blood from PEOPLE and KILLED them. Yes, no more veggie-vamps. (I hate Twilight for this, oh and sparkly vampires, did I mention them) I say some because there are actually 2 factions of vampires in the universe of TVA. Vampires, who put humans in a deep unconsciousness and suck their blood but don't kill them. And Vampineese, who do kill the humans they prey on. These groups live in our world, but in secret. Oh and there's a truce between the 2, cause apparently this difference is enough to make them hate each other. Now that is a cool idea for the setting of a film (and a series of books, which it is based on). The rest of the story goes as such, a good boy and his bad influence of a best friend sneak out one night and go to a freak show. At this freak show they see a vampire who does tricks with a spider. Good boy loves spiders. So he steals this one, which is very venomous. Anyway, spider bites friend and boy goes to vampire for the antidote and in exchange becomes half-vampire so as to be an assistant to the vamp from the show. And he meets the freaks, and there's a fat guy who wants to start a war between the vamp factions. And any more would spoil it for you. But it really is quite good and here's why.

All of the actors, except the main characters, do a really good job. This movie is full of over the top and could have easily slipped into the realm of corny, but it doesn't due to some spot on performances. John C. Reilly as the titular Vampire, Ray Stevenson as the bad vamp. Ken Wantanabe as the Freak Show leader, and Salma Hayek playing the sometimes bearded lady, all seem like they're having a good time falling into these roles. Plus the setting is great, and the story I found very intriguing. This is why I push for people to go see it. This film needs a sequel.

The bad unfortunately come from the main characters, good boy and bad boy. Bad boy was trying way to hard to be the bad attitude trouble maker. And good boy was too whining. Really, I couldn't stand his voice. I mean you get used to it after a while, but it was a serious cause of annoyance. Also there is a little too much focus given to these characters toward the beginning of the film, and you're kind of going, "Where are the vamps." But that's just a nitpick really.

Overall, a very fun, very enjoyable good movie. I know this is getting long winded so I'll wrap it up. If you want a fun fantasy vampire movie that takes a unique approach to the image of vampires, please go see this. You will have a good time, as long as vampires are your thing, of course. And if you don't like it, don't blame me. It's your taste in films that's questionable.




Disagree? Too bad, start your own blog. But in the mean time feel free to comment below.

Trailer Park: New for Oct. 29th

Here's a number of new trailers released this week. Some are good. Some aren't. I think you are smart enough to figure out which is which.




Alice in Wonderland - Extended Trailer

News: Spider-Man 4 will (almost) officially not suck as bad as 3

If the rumor is true, and we are hoping it is, Spider-Man 4 will go back to the 1 villain formula. And in even better news that villain will be Lizard, the one that every Spider-man fan has wanted since Dylan Baker first stepped on screen as Dr. Conners. Now remember, this is just a rumor, but I think I speak for everyone when I say, "We want this!"

TheMovieBlog.com

Release Day: Week of Oct. 25

Its Tuesday folks, and you know what that mean. New stuff to spend money on! We're gonna break down the New Releases that come out every Tuesday (and the week of). This will mainly be a list, but things that are actually good will get special attention. Maybe a small comment or something.

Here are you're new releases for the week of Oct. 25 2009

DVD:

-Battlestar Galactica: The Plan

-Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs

-Tinkerbell and the Lost Treasure (Really!)

-Monty Python: Almost the Truth - Hell ya! No really this is awesome.

This dvd is the first time the Python Troupe has been back together since 1983!

-Orphan

Video Games:

-Borderlands

-Forza 3

-Saw

-DJ Hero

-Tekken 6

-Ratchet and Clank Future: A Crack in Time

-Grand Theft Auto: The Ballad of Gay Tony (DLC)

-Grand Theft Auto: Episodes from Liberty City

Books

The Book of Basketball by Bill Simmons

The Gathering Storm (Wheel of Time) by Robert Jordan

Tempted (House of Night Novels) by P.C. Cast

Bed of Rose (Bride Quartet) by Nora Robert

True Blue by David Baldacci

Last Night in Twisted River by John Irving

Angel Time: The Song of the Seraphim by Anne Rice

Music:

No music this week cause there is nothing worth mentioning coming out.

Thats it for this week. Now get out there and spend some money!

News: Hell Ya! First 5 Minutes of Boondock Saints II Online

Holy Crap! One of my most anticipated movies this year now has the first 5 minutes online. How freaking sweet is that! I . . . I can't even type anymore, I'm so excited! Check it out.

TheMovieblog.com

Info: Plugin' KFHS Radio

Alright, I mention it in my welcome message but you should go to kfhs.net, click on the radio link, and then click listen live. Now. As in right now. Open up a new tab, type in kfhs.net, and listen while your reading this awesomeness. I bring up this plug because a) its my old stomping ground, the future/past home of the Half Hour Entertainment Xtravaganza radio show, and b) I'm sitting in studio listening to the fantastic morning show, Dawna and Ren in the AM.

So at this point you should be listening right now. Maybe there's music going on. Maybe there's a show. Either way, it will be a fan-freaking-tastic good time!

News: Great News for PS3 Owning, Movie Enthusiasts.

If you own a PS3, love movies, and have been envious of the fact that Xbox gets Netflix streaming, cry no more little emo kid. Starting next month, Netflix will begin streaming to a PS3 connected TV near you. If you don't have an account with Netflix, you can sign up here. And if you plan on running your Instant Queue on your Playstation 3 you will need a special, free disc at first. All this info and more can be found at the following link to Kotaku.

Kotaku - PS3 Gets Netflix Streaming Next Month

News: Buy Zombies Ate My Neighbors today!

It seems like this site has been film focused lately. But it is a entertainment blog, so lets throw up some video game news.

The awesomely classic, Zombies Ate My Neighbors is available as of today on the Nintendo Wii through their Virtual Console. Aww, the fond memories. If you have the means, play this game! Immediately.

News: Rocco, From the First Boondock Saints, talks about the second.

Yes, Rocco is back in Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day, opening this Friday. And yes it is a flashback/dream sequence. Iconvsicon.com has the interview with David Della Rocco about the sequel. Be warned, minor spoilers from the first film are included. You can find the full interview here.

I'm so excited for this movie, but doubt it will come to the theatre here. There may be a pilgrimage to the nearest Warren in my future.

Review: DVD-Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Transformers 2, one of the, if not THE biggest selling movie this year, has finally released on DVD and Bluray. Will you give Optimus Prime more money, or will a rental suffice?

First off, if your gonna rent, buy, watch this film, you have to watch the Bluray. It's imperative. If you don't have the means, find someone with a Bluray player and invite yourself over. If you don't know them, break in and watch it. This movie was made for HD and you owe it to yourself to watch it in Hi-Def.

But that begs the question, should you watch it? In short, yes. If you, like most of the world, saw it in theatres and was not to impressed I say check it out again. What you remember being bad is still bad (I'm talking to you Skids and Mudflap). But overall, it is a movie with more hot robot on robot action then the first one and that's what you really are watching Transformers for in the first place, right.

I have to make special reference to some issues that other reviewers are bringing up, now that its coming out on the home video market. Megan Fox. Yes, she is not the best actor in the world. No, she is definitely not the worst. But she doesn't need to be for Transformers. It's clear from the first time she's onscreen. Megan Fox is to look at. So that really becomes an invalid point. Also I've been hearing a lot about the dialogue being bad. Really. REALLY! It's Transformers! You looking for Shakespeare? Cleaver Quentin Tarantino pop culture banter? No, of course not. Your looking for giant robots fucking shit up. As long as the dialogue moves the scene from one badass robot fight to the next, who cares.

One thing I also feel compelled to bring up is the comedy in this movie. God! It is just awful. Every time a character tries to be funny it's like they are looking right at the audience and screaming "laugh at me! I'm funny!" In fact the funniest moments come from when characters are throwing out sarcastic lines. That's what funny. Everything else (once again, this is YOU Mudflap and Skids aka the Twins) are just painful jabs at getting cheap laughs out of kids.

So when it comes to the movie (cause this is a movie, a popcorn flick, not a film) it is a good, mindless action flick with more of what you wanted in the first movie. The first one is better, absolutely. The second one is a fun follow up.

But this is a DVD review and you also should get some info on the DVD (or in this case Bluray). First the picture. I'm sure the DVD looks great. The Bluray is better. As I mentioned up above, movies like Transformers are what HD was made for. The picture and sound quality is just astonishing. Absolutely amazing! And good subtitles too. This might seem weird to people but I watch every movie with subtitles, and some of them are just bad. And I don't mean the transcribing, but the placement. I HATE when subtitles are stacked more then 2 lines high and they appear on both the left and right sides of the screen. If you watch movies with subtitles you know what I mean. Now like I said, I like the subtitles, but there is one small gripe about them . Movies presented in wide screen should have subtitles below the picture. EVERY TIME! This does not.

And now the special features. If you don't care about anything besides the movie, the barebones single disc is just the thing for you. If you want a little more experience for your buck, the 2 disc and Bluray delivers in spades.

The sticker on the front of the 2-disc dvd and bluray says "over 3 hours of special feature" and and the back list a few of them and says "and many more." Well usually, the many more is a trailer or 2. Not the case here. With Transformers 2 you get the 2 hour making of documentary and the Bayhem special feature, but you also get a look at the promotion of Transformers 2, over the course of 24 hours with Bay. There's a 25th anniversary of Transformers special that focuses more on the toys, a music video of Linkin Park's the Divide (the ending credits song, and a couple more that are interesting, but not really worth mentioning.

So watch it again on the small screen. Normally I am a bigger fan of these kind of movies in theatre, but this one just had so much going on that the in-your-face aspect of the big screen kind of dampened the experience. The Bluray allows you to really take everything in, and in beautiful Hi-Def no less.

Agree, disagree, think your opinion is better then mine?(it's not) Feel free to comment below.

Disappointments at the Box - 10/26

Thanks for sticking with us during the weekend hiatus. I would like to take the time to share with you one of my favorite segments, Disappointments a the Box. This is where I take the time to share with you, what the baying masses went to watch in lieu of GOOD films. And this past weekend is really no exception, but for the fact that there really weren't any great flicks opening.

1. Paranormal Activity - Really. This movie made enough money to be at the top it's second weekend. And with only $22M. Look, I'm not trying to dog it, but everyone I have talked to, has said avoid the theatre, wait for the DVD.

2. Saw IV - Lowest opening for a Saw movie ever, with $14.8M. But what can you expect, when you base your advertising last year on 5 being the final saw movie, yet you decide to crank out another one. Jigsaws just getting a little too old and stale.

3. Where the Wild Things Are - At $14.4M this film just barely missed beating Saw, even though this was it's second weekend. Kids seem to be bored with this flick, but adults are enjoying it. Maybe it's because the kids these days have never read the book, or any books for that matter. Instead the sit around and watch the Wiggles and play video game until their brain ooze out their skulls. Parents, read to your kids, seriously.

4. Law Abiding Citizen - $12.7M You can see my review of it somewhere below this post. Not a surprising take for it's second weekend.

5. Couple Retreat - $11.1M. Never had any interest in this film. Some say it's funny.

6. Astro Boy - Pulling down $7.02M it's opening weekend, I'm not sure that is even going to cover the cost of the actors they got to be in the film. A disappointing take, for a movie that looks to surely disappoint.

7. The Stepfather - $6.5M. I know virtually nothing about this movie.

8. The Vampire's Assistant - The third movie that actually opened over the weekend that is on this list, and the third disappointing take. I am actually interested in this flick and hope to see it soon. Look for a review to come later.

9. Cloudy w/ a Chance of Meatballs - $5.6M. Nope.

10. Zombieland - Still one of the funniest, coolest movies I've seen all year. I hope that since its still hanging on weeks after it's opening, and pulling down $4.3M over the weekend, maybe we'll see a sequel. Please.

So there you have it. A not so great clone of The Blair Witch Project led a rather small weekend, take wise. But that's what happens when no one goes and sees the new movies. Then again, I don't think I would want to go see any of the films that opened, except maybe the Vampire's Assistant. Nut we'll have to wait and see.

Throw in your 2 cents below in the comments.

News: TV-Dollhouse to rest in Nov.

The awesome yet under-appreciated FOX show "Dollhouse," created by the always amazing Joss Whedon, will be taking a break in November. That way crappy shows that the creatively-challenged masses adore, like Bone and House, can show reruns. F-ing reruns! Are you joking FOX, or do you really just HATE originality (see Firefly). Thankfully they are still planning on at least give us the 13 episodes they ordered. Then again, they also had DH on their Nov schedule, and we see how that worked out. Asshole FOX!

IGN

Trailer Park: The Wolfman

Cool, a trailer for The Wolfman, staring Benicio Del Toro, is online today. Watched a trailer for this in the theatre a few weeks ago. It looks pretty sick. If you haven't heard of it before, or seen the trailer yet, click here.

Thanx to themovieblog.com

News: The Crow Remake

Oh please God, someone shoot me now. Please, I beg you. The remake train is running full steam right at the heart of The Crow. Yes, THAT The Crow. WTF is wrong with Hollywood these days. I . . . I can't . . . so mad . . . need to go break something now.

What do you think of this atrocity?

Info: FYI on the Archiving

On the right you'll notice the "Good Stuff" section. That's where everything gets archived for quick, easy access. I wanted to inform the loyal masses that the archive runs from oldest to newest, since you get newest to oldest on the main page. Just wanting to avoid confusion. Please carry on.

Review: DVD-Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Coming tomorrow! I need to finish the rest of the special feature before I can give you all the most accurate review possible. Stay tuned and keep checking back.

Review: Law Abiding Citizen

Law Abiding Citizen is about Gerard Butler character, Clyde, who, after losing his wife and daughter, goes on a killing rampage from prison and is on a personal vendetta against the lawyers (Foxx) and officials who allowed the killer to go free.

Disclaimer! There will be spoilers in this review. Tread cautiously if you have yet to see this film

Law Abiding Citizen had a cool concept and an amazing trailer that really made one want to see it. But is it worth the price of admission?

Yes-ish. I just want to say that this was a good, well made movie. But like most things it had its share of problems.First, what did it do right.

Well the casting, for one, was very impressive. The actors portrayed these characters how one would assume they would act and did a very good job. Also the story was intriguing, pulling you in and rarely letting up. Let me emphasize on the pulling you in. The movie opens and within 2 minutes, Gerard Butler has just witnessed his wife and daughter being murdered by buglers. The first 2 minutes! No set up. No, look at the happy family for 15 min. Just getting down to business. This was a great way to get the audiences attention and get you hooked into the movie.

The story was good, keeping you guessing who would be offed next and how Butler was doing it from inside prison. Jamie Foxx played a lawyer, who acted like a detective, figuring out who the next target was and hunting down clues to try and figure out how people were being murdered by this guy who is already in prison. So over all, lots of praise. But there were problems.

Have you ever tried to get into a movie where all the main characters were antagonists. And I'm not talking about movies that focus on the antagonist as the main character (ala American Psycho). I mean even the "good guy" is not a guy you want to root for, and you don't necessarily even want him to succeed. The film starts out making you very sympathetic toward Butler and shows Foxx as being an ass, who takes the plea deal with the murder just to keep his wins up. So you feel for Butler and are already against Foxx. But then they flip it. Butler starts killing people. Now if it was just the murders, I would understand. But he starts going after everyone. And in really brutal ways, meant to turn you against him and toward Foxx. But Foxx is so unlikable in the movie that you never really want him to come out on top.

Also there is a terrible character arc for Foxx's character, Nick. He starts as a douche who only looks out for himself (exhibit A- he lets murderers go, on plea deals). But 10 years pass and he has a kid. . . and he still only looks out for himself. Then Butler lets himself get caught and Foxx starts making deals with him in exchange for information on more people who will die. Butler's whole point is to teach Foxx that the law is the law, and deals shouldn't be made. And Foxx finally gets this at the end, and then turns around and pretty much commits MURDER!. How can you feel sympathetic for this guy. That's what the real problem was.

So in closing, it's definitely a good movie that you should check out. But you could skip the theatre, wait for the DVD and be happy.

Trailer Park: Season of the Witch

Teaser trailer on line for a new Nick Cage movie coming out next spring. Looks decent. I will wait for a full trailer before passing harsh judgement. Click here to check it out.

Thanx goes to themovieblog

News: Star Wars in 3D and directed by the guys behind Indy and the Godfather

Ok. I have to comment because it seems that the entire net is exploding with this already unconfirmed rumor that Star Wars is getting a 3D treatment and that in the near future there will be a new trilogy produced by Lucas and directed by both Spielberg and Francis Ford Coppola. It's NOT true. It should be true. But right now there is denial across the board. Check out the links below for more info.

AICN

themovieblog.com

io9

theforce.net

Netflix Pix: Mutant Chronicles

This film came out in 2008. Its OK, I guess. Really if you like a campy B scifi movie, you could do a hell of a lot worse. But you could also do better.

This movie had some issues, but we'll get to them in a moment. So what was good about it. Well It's got a pretty sweet cast. Thomas Jane, Ron Pearlman, John Malkovich, and Devon Akoi (the Asian chick from Sin City). I was pretty excited bout that, but really it doesn't save the flick.

The setting is sweet; its a world where there are 4 companies that control different countries, and using their armies, duke it out with one another. During one such battle a giant seal in the ground is broken and out comes mutants. Almost all the soldiers are killed, a few escape, and the ones that are left alive are taken below ground to a "machine" where they are mutated. Mutants over run the planet, people who can afford offworld tickets leave for Mars and Ron Pearlman plays a holy man who leads a team of soldiers from all 4 companies, including Thomas Jane, on a mission to destroy the Mutants and their machine.Why no mention of Malkovich. Maybe because he's barely in the movie. It's ridicules.

Oh, and the style. The look of the film is pretty neat. Like a sepia version of Sin City, or The Spirit (I'm not endorsing that piece of crap). And the steampunk-esque equipment (that runs on coal) is cool too.

The bad things would include some terrible acting from some of the supporting cast, a fairly predictable ending, and some continuity issues dealing with characters injuries that I may not have noticed normally, but they kinda call it out.

Also, there is one completely unnecessary scene involving Thomas Jane and a character from the beginning that was such bad padding for time I almost wanted to find the script writer and punch him. And the thing with Ron Pearlman, WTF. Stupid. Just dumb as hell.

So, overall, if you wanted a cool looking campy B scifi movie and you have netflix instant streaming, add it to your queue. If not I would waste the time or money renting it, unless you have a crush on Thomas Jane, in which case you probably already own it.

Mid-view: Brutal Legend

Thank you for checking out the first Mid-view. Great, got that annoying shit outta the way.

Ok, Brutal Legend= Badass.

Thank you for checking out this mid-view.

No, I'll give ya more then that, I promise

I bought Brutal Legend day one. Let me tell you, this game is pretty much amazing. The look, the feel, the setting, the combat. It's all so original I thought my brain would explode. And the metal world Tim Schafer created, Freaking AMAZING! Seriously! The music is phenomenal, and there are tons of thing to find while exploring this big open world.

You may have heard that the campaign is short. And maybe it is, if you just play through the story, but if you explore, it can last a good long time. That being said, some of the secondary missions get boring, some are fun, and 1 or 2 just really suck but it doesn't hamper the enjoyment.

And the combat. Yes, there is some RTS mixed in with the hack and slash but it only occurs during big story battles and it's simple enough so as to not turn away non-RTS gamers.

If you haven't played this game, get it. If you can't, rent it. You owe it to yourself to play this game. And if you're a metal head, you should already have put at least 5 hours in this game just looking at the cliff face made of amps, and checking out the beer tree. That's right, a beer tree. Now you really wanna play it, don't ya.

Info: About the HHEX Blog

Hey hey everybody. I wanted to give you some info about the set up of the site. I'm going to be tagging all of the blogs, for example the Info in the title of this blog. That way, when people go through the archives it will be easy to find what their looking for. Cause that's how nice of a guy I am. Now I will explain the different tags:

Info - This is where I will be putting pertinent information about the site that I fell you should have

Reviews - Hard to have a review site without these

Previews - Cause I might as well judge things before they come out

Mid-views - This is my own unique thing. Since I don't have the time to just sit around and play new games straight through, I figure I'll share my impressions when I'm about half way through a game. Maybe books too.

The Vault - I may not have as many movies as some, but I will periodically go through my personal collection of over 500 films, to find a gem that you NEED to see

Netflix Pix - Using the Netflix instant queue, I'd like to share with you some good flix available for instant streaming

News - any news that's worth sharing, along with a link to where it came from

Original - Occasionally I will write some content all from the noggin and if I think you can handle it, I'll post it.

Trailer Park - New trailers that hit the net, and you'll be able to find 'em here along with links to where they came from

Disappointments at the Box - Since it seems to many people a go see stupid movies, this is where we share what movies made the most money over the weekend. And sadly, they're usually bad.

So there you have it. Lots of good stuff, right? One other thing. due to work, and therefore a general lack of Internet on certain days, some days will be a cluster of post, some days will be one or two. Hope this isn't off putting to anyone. But if it does, sorry. Your loss.

That's all for now. Remember to keep checking back, and leave comments to let me know what you think. Who knows, one of you may have a half way decent idea.

(You have to click on the blog title in order to add comments. You'd be surprised how many people don't know that).